Election Night Stress Eating

There is hope in this endless, bitter war!

No, not Melody Pond.  I wish.  No, it's finally election day!  Soon we can put to rest what has seemed like the longest, most endlessly prolonged, most annoyingly partisan election season ever.

I will never be so happy to see local carpet cleaning commercials.

But first I have to get through the day, and even worse, the night.  A night of being glued to the news channels and their needlessly high-tech maps and their commentators of varying (but mostly low) tolerability.

I'm trying not to be too emotionally engaged in this, but I can already see it's going to be a bad day for stress eating.

Consider the circumstances:

• We have a ton of leftover Halloween candy.
• And a box of Mozzarella Cheez-Its. 
• Ohio is a swing state.  THE swing state. The one it always comes down to.
• Ohio can go either way.
• The freezer is really full, and two ice cream cartons are taking up a lot of room.

Oh yes, it's going to be ugly.

Tips managing the election night emotional binge eating:

• Focus on what you can control:  I voted, and things may go my way, or they may not.  Now I will focus on not eating another Twix Fun Size bar.
• Know your triggers:  Some things just might cause an uncontrollable upsurge in stress.  Please, please do not me hear Sarah Palin talking on TV. 
• Relieve the stress some other way:  Take deep breaths!  Vent something you may later regret on Facebook!  Do push ups!  Ha ha!  Got you on the last one.  Like I would do push ups.  Foodgoat will be the one who does all the crazy push up variations just for fun.
• Drink black tea instead: Black tea, according to one study, reduced cortisol (stress hormone) levels and helped men de-stress more quickly.  Black tea doesn't sound nearly so satisfying, though, as a salad made primarily of Cheez-Its. 

White House Beer

It's an election year, and I live in a battleground state, which means I really just want to crawl under a rock so I can stop being inundated with the overheated blah blah blah of opinion pieces, TV ads, fundraising calls, and news headlines.  I've reached my saturation point of partisanship, thanks!

So the only election news I've really wanted to read was about how Obama has been bringing his home brewed White House beers with him on his Iowa campaign bus tour.  Not so much about how it's an attempt to connect with those darn middle America independents, but about the BEER.

He bought a beer-making kit (with personal funds) last year, and there are three varieties (so far): White House Honey Ale, White House Honey Blonde Ale and White House Honey Porter, all with honey from Michelle Obama’s White House garden beehive.  The beer has been served to White House guests at events celebrating St. Patrick's Day and the Super Bowl (the beer brewing came after the beer summit).

This may be the first time that beer has been brewed at the White House, although George Washington (who never lived at the White House) was an avid home brewer (here's his rather vague recipe). 

Obviously, I don't think Obama's the one hovering over the giant pot stirring the wort down. It's the White House kitchen staff.  The White House Press Secretary couldn't say exactly who the brewmaster was, saying,  "I have exhausted my knowledge about this subject.  (Laughter.)  Usually, when somebody hands me a beer I don’t ask how it was made.  I just drink it."

Foodgoat asks how it was made, and so do lots of other home brewers, so go find out, Mr. Carney!  Also find out where the recipes came from, whether they had brewed before, where the other ingredients came from, what they do with the spent grain, what they are brewing now, their preferred methods of sanitizing bottles, and whether there is a stout coming up. I am a taxpayer and I want to KNOW.  Please.  If you have time. No hurry though. 

Although, alas, Foodgoat has not brewed beer, which he was doing frequently for a time, in a while.  I'm not sure why, but I'll presume it's the same reason we don't do lots of things anymore.

Dog Bless America*

The dog blogger BiscuitGoat continues her takeover of the Foodgoat blog ...

I haven't paid much attention to politics in my life. But two years ago, after passing the test (with flying colors, I might add) I became a Canine Good Citizen, so I feel it's my duty to contribute to the democratic process as much as I am able. Seeing as I'm not 18 yet though (4 more years to go!), I can't vote, so blogging and influencing the voting public it is.

Furthermore, in this election, there are Important Issues facing American dogs today. Not the least of these is the fact that there are over one thousand MWDs (Military Working Dogs) stationed in Iraq.

So, I consider each of the presidential candidates. First, I look at their pet record.

Obama doesn't have a dog, and has no pet-owning record that I've been able to find. (FoxPetNets has repeating insidious rumors that Obama has a friend who once owned a squirrel but that's just mean-spirited gossip.) However, he did make a significant campaign promise: when the election is over, he promised his daughters they could have a dog, whether or not he wins. Usually one can't trust campaign promises, but Obama seems to have a calm assertive energy, and I believe him. Plus, the man has excellent taste in ham. (I'm partial to prosciutto myself.)

Clinton has a dog - a chocolate Lab named Seamus. Seamus was a gift from Hillary to Bill after their Lab, Buddy, was run over by a car. Buddy came after their cocker spaniel, Zeke, was also run over by a car. I'm not implying any impropriety, and no investigations have ever been called for. It's just ... it seems rather careless of them. Maybe it's unfair. But I wouldn't trust her to walk me down a busy street, so I can't very well trust her to run the country.

On the pet ownership issue, McCain, though, takes the cake. Right now he has Coco, a mutt (who he once saved from the brink of death with his quick action!), Sam, an English springer spaniel, two more dogs named Lucy and Desi, two turtles named Cuff and Link, Oreo the black and white cat, three parakeets, and 13 saltwater fish. His ferret, alas, recently died of cancer. In the past, they have also had two mini-Dobermans, two snakes, one rabbit, a hamster, a mouse, an iguana and a gecko.

This makes it hard for me not to endorse John McCain. Clearly, the man can bring together an impressively diverse pack.

Still, I've got my reservations about him.

I must think of all my compatriot dogs stationed in Iraq. Remember, 100 human years is 700 dog years. That's a long time for us dogs. Our entire species could be completely different by then. And war is as hard on dogs as it on humans. Remember in "Courage of Lassie" when Lassie got drafted, and came under fire right on the front lines? SO SAD. Lassie had PTSD! She had such a hard time adjusting back to civilian life! She had flashbacks! I have tried to do my part by sending care packages of Bil Jac treats and Doggles to our dogs in Iraq, but wouldn't it be better for us to send them home, than for us to send them there?

And, this very large menagerie of McCain's might also be suspect as well. Isn't it only crazy old ladies who amass these very large packs?

And, there are other issues I must still consider: their position on pet insurance, affordable pet medication, and standards for regulating the dog biscuit industry. Like everyone else, I'm watching this election carefully.

*Opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Foodgoat or Ladygoat.

Idaho? Udaho? Actually, It's the Senator

Foodgoat and I were snickering yesterday over the latest hypocritical denials and disavowals from Senator Larry "I am not gay" Craig regarding his encounter with an undercover policeman in a Minneapolis airport bathroom, when suddenly we remembered why his name was familiar:

Senator Larry Craig ... from Idaho ... the one with the Super Tuber recipe?!? The hot dog-in-a-potato recipe that was so suggestive and so blatantly indecent I blush to have posted it?!? The dish that seems to aspire towards actual, rather than metaphorical, food porn?!?

Yup, that's the one.

I wonder if the Super Tuber is another one of those secret signals Craig employed?

Idaho? No Udaho!

Real Food, Uncensored & Out of Control!

The Post Foodgoat Never Meant You to See! Hidden in the Blogger drafts since 2000, made when he was first trying to break into the blogging business, now made public!

The Honorable Larry E. Craig, duly elected Senator of Idaho, once submitted the following recipe for Super Tubers (using, of course, the Idaho potato) to the Congress Cooks! website. Since the pizza delivery girl never showed up, Foodgoat whips up a couple of Super Tubers.


After washing and drying a couple of dirty potatos, Foodgoat cored the potato center, end to end, with an apple corer.

A generous rubbing of olive oil, along with nonstop giggling, helped stick a big hot dog all the way into the hole.

After baking in a preheated 325 degree oven for approximately one hour (or until the potato was fork tender), we topped the Tuber turned Super Tuber off with a sprinkling of bacon for good measure.

I know my anger

I believe I now understand why I am so angry at this past election. I am angry at what happened to the Republican party- I am mad at them for no longer being a party that is about protecting the constitution and gaining profits. They have become an extreme party – they now have become the Religious Right. It wasn’t about the economy, medical costs, or even tax cuts – it was ALL MORAL issues. “Jesus Christ, we can’t have two men fucking and having the same rights as me. Those damn terrorists think their god wants us dead – well our God is going to kick their asses.”

GOP what has happened to you?

We Dems have extremes too – damn PETA and tree hugging nation. BUT we didn’t bow down to them – if fact, we pissed them off so much they started their own party.
The GOP knew they couldn’t win by being a moderate party, so they went to the extreme. They used FEAR much like the preacher uses Hell to get people to do their bidding. This election had nothing to do with Kerry – it could have been anyone, and the GOP would have portrayed him/her like the serpent. “You can’t trust Kerry – he turn over control of our scared country to the rest of the heathen world.”
So please, if there is any republican still reading, PLEASE take back your party. The religious right should scare the hell out of you.
And to you Dems, I know some of you are upset about how we ran our campaigns – that we didn’t attack more. I for one am glad we didn’t. To become that.. to win… isn’t right [ or left ;) ]
-foodgoat

I still hate you

Day 2. Do I feel any better about the world? fuck NO. I still feel a great deal of hate to all of those idoits out there. Food is far from my mind - in the past 36 hours I only ate some bread late last night.

Today's rant: During the camPAIN - the Bushies spread FEAR. Fear that we are going to be attacked - and fear that if Kerry was in charge you were going to DIE. Why? voters, why did you buy this? Bush was only being a Fucking terrorist. Holding YOU (not fucking me) hostage to vote for his ass. Sure, it is easy to call someone of a different religion / living in a different part of the world a terrorist - because it sounds scary. But Bushies ran terrorist kinds of policital ads.

By the way - WAR on Terrorists? What the hell is that - like the war on Drugs. A war that can't be won because it isn't a WAR!!!!! You declare wars on countries, not ideas. FUCKING IDOITS!!! I am declaring WAR ON HAPPINESS... Because with bush in charge this country will see less joy in there lives. 50% of the people can't believe he was re-elected (unhappy) the other 50% are so scared that they cannot be happy. So I guess our WAR is going well.

Other little rant: sticker ribbons on cars. the stupidity is so obvious.

-foodgoat

The Debate Hits Home

One week later, and I'm finally feeling better. Driving my recovery is the fact that my esteemed alma mater/employer is hosting tomorrow's highly anticipated Vice Presidential debate. Case is all a'flutter, overflowing with news crews, people with Very Important Nametags, and flowerpots that just appeared over the weekend. To partake in this remarkable Historic Event (and because I got the day off anyway!), I signed up to be a volunteer. Here are my thoughts, food-wise.

Saturday, Day 1: Woke up at the ungodly hour of 7 am to go to my first shift, only to be told to just "hang out" until 9 because the credentialing process was pushed back. I had high hopes for the hospitality table. Free food is always good, but it's especially good at a college, and I figured it would be even better for a national event. Alas, no. It wasn't so much the coffee (which was quite fine), or the selection of flavored cream cheese (four!). Rather, it was the big fat (and disgustingly slow) fly that buzzed around the pastries. From whence it came, I know not: it did not have any proper credentials. Insects, frankly, are an appetite killer. I had to dig to the bottom of the danish pile before I felt comfortable having breakfast.

Rest of the morning spent signing in other volunteers, eating free chips and cookies and soda, and feeling jealous of way cooler assignments helping out CNN or CBS.

Sunday, Day 2: Came in at noon and had the challenging task of updating the names on an Excel spreadsheet. But I did get pizza for lunch: 2 corners of a square pizza! Before long I got re-assigned to work at the driveway gate where I got a radio (to confirm everyone trying to drive inside), a newfound sense of power, and no food at all. Someone working with the Commission for Presidential Debates has Domino's Pizza delivered and walk off without offering me any. Newfound sense of power fizzles.

Monday, Day 3: Volunteer HQ gives me a choice - help Eurovision or help the Kerry Edwards campaign? No hesitation here! I skip off to help the Kerry Edwards press staff with a song in my heart. I get a tour of the debate facilities, including the dark, draped debate hall, the vast media center, for the 1,800 press people, and "Spin Alley," where various personalities make pronouncement to TV stations about how it all went. The lil' old gym cleans up real nice. No food, or beer, set up yet in the media hospitality lounge provided by sponsor Anheuser-Busch, though. And I was so busy I didn't get to eat until 2, when we dropped by Jake's Sandwich Shop somewhere near Public Square for a BLT. I'm ashamed to say I forgot to recommend Slyman's for lunch.

Tomorrow I help with the Edwards people again, which means going to Parma for his town hall meeting. Unfortunatly this means I won't be able to go to the Pancake Breakfast the students are holding in the morning, where Kevin Bacon is (supposed) to appear.

Don't Change Horseman Mid-Apocalyse! Bush/Cheney 2004!

Maybe you're wondering if I'm watching the RNC. Are you kidding? Wouldn't miss it, and I'm finding it great fun, tho' I thought the iDick was a tad boring. But, the convention is rife with opportunies for incredulous laughter, sarcastic jokes, and find-a-person-of-color scavenger hunts. But of course, what you don't see on TV is all the eating. It takes a lot of calories to delude yourself like that, and so enthusiastically, too. Here are some reports:


Unknown third Musketeer beats out Gov. George E. Pataki of New York and House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert in being able to pour beer:

The governor and the speaker migrated behind the bar. They rolled up their sleeves and began pulling pints of ale. Well, they tried to: "Unfortunately," said an aide to the governor, who confirmed the event, "all they could get from the tap was foam."

The Post reports that FOX News Channel commentator Cal Thomas couldn't find the bottle of ketchup for his ham and cheese omelet at the Double Tree Hotel restaurant.

When Thomas asked for some, the waiter brought him ketchup in an unmarked dish. Turns out the Illinois GOP delegation is staying at the hotel. "We were afraid the Heinz bottles would offend the delegates," the mousy management explained.

We are very sorry to have missed the Halliburton breakfast for the Texas delegation and the Qorvis/NRA/tobacoo lobby party, but I'd really like to hang out at the Tick Tock Diner, on the corner of 34th St. and 8th Ave, which CNN has rented out for the week:

nside the CNN Diner, your money is no good. There's an open bar, with CNN-themed cocktails like the "Crossfire Island," and peanuts and edamame peas for snacks. Staffers can enjoy, for free, a full menu of diner food -- burgers, popcorn shrimp, and "CNN Fries." News hounds not lucky enough to be employed by "The Most Trusted Name in News" -- and thus confined to the Garden's sweaty basement and sad-looking sandwiches -- can be forgiven for feeling jealous.

WendysGate

The french fries are barely cold, but the infamous stop at Wendy's has been revealed as - gasp! - a publicity stunt. John Kerry and John Edwards and wives had gourmet box lunches waiting for them in their bus.

Their other lunch, which at $200 was definitely not from the 99-cent menu, featured shrimp vindaloo, grilled diver sea scallops, prosciutto-wrapped stuffed chicken and steak salad.

Democrats Pig Out

Just as Wendy’s is used to demonstrate the folksy roots of John Edwards, so food can be used to attack, as well. The food museum blog pointed out this LA Weekly report, that uses the gourmet feasts, unseen on network TV, at the Convention to demonstrate Democratic Party hypocrisy and the gripping, drooling jaw of special interests.

Things got worse the next night when I decided once again to follow the money. And it led right to the Wellfleet oysters and mango lobster cakes. And the grilled swordfish. And the stuffed figs and sushi. And to the ham, turkey, pasta, grilled vegetables, smoked duck, jumbo shrimp, fresh clams, cream puffs, napoleons and éclairs. And to the gourmet wine bar and two or three other free-flowing bars. And lapping all of this up late Monday night, the California Congressional Delegation and much of the cream of Democratic “progressivism” — including Dr. Dean and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.

By day, they rail against special interests. By night, they party down with them.

...

I’m sorry, what? I was still stuck on the idea of mango lobster cakes. Now that sounds dee-lish.

Oh, yes, hypocrisy, craven greed, got it. Need further food evidence that this is not the party solely of the proletariat? Check out this chocolate fondue fountain from the media party.

Hmmm ...I’m thinking fresh strawberries and pound cake would go well with this ...


Do special interests have a fork in the Democratic pie? Oh, probably, just as they do in the Republican pot, too. But describing the glorious meals isn’t working up my indignation meter right now. It's 4 pm and it's just making me hungry.

The proof is in the photo-op

As they do every year, John and Elizabeth Edwards celebrate their anniversary at Wendy's ... except this year they did it with the presidential candidate, his wife, and dozens of news crews.


Elizabeth ordered a Classic Combo Single, John got the same but with cheese, and they split a Frosty. Teresa Heinz Kerry, whom we suspect does not celebrate any occasion at a fast food joint, pointed at a picture of chili on the menu and asked the cashier what it was before ordering a bowl. John Kerry had the same, along with a chocolate Frosty (that’s what my mom always orders from Wendy’s!). Teresa told reporters later that it was surprisingly good. "It's good chili," she announced. "It could even be made by Heinz."

Kerry paid the bill, and the Democratic presidential ticket sat down in one of those vinyl booths.


Also present were Cate Edwards, who was asked by her mother to fetch napkins. She and Vanessa Kerry sat at a separate table with the omnipresent Ben Affleck. Way more cool than eating with the ‘rents. They sipped drinks while Affleck had a double hamburger.

Inspired by this, Foodgoat and I also hit Wendy’s for dinner on Saturday, Foodgoat for one of the new Bacon Mushroom Melt and I for a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. That 99-cent menu is pretty spiffy. No one cared to document this for the media, however.

Have I mentioned the Convention?

So the Democratic National Convention has just ended with a splendid speech by John Kerry, and while I bask in the warm glow of political optimism, let's look back at this convention's food.

Oh yes, there was food. Delegates have to fuel all their sign-waving with something, you know.

No food or drink was allowed on the floor, hence the lack of turkey legs and corndogs during the speeches, but elsewhere ... check out this food station at the 15,000-person media party which featured home-grown food from local Massachusetts farms.


And in keeping with the greenest convention goals (which also showcased biodegradable balloons , lots of recycling, electricity all from from renewable sources, and hybrid gas-electric buses), the food waste was taken to a composting facility to make fertilizer. Unused food was rescued for local hunger-relief agencies.

And what do they drink? Let's just say many of these events were open bar.

And, is that ...? It is! Hillary's drinking Dunkin' Donuts coffee! Dunkin' Donuts was the first national brand to sell espresso beverages that are made exclusively with Fair Trade Certified coffee.

Cookiegate

Just out of Project Blog recovery, and right into MSNBC immersion, watching the Democratic National Convention in ole Beantown. Last night FLOTUS candidate Teh-RAY-zuh Heinz(-Kerry) gave a nice endorsement of her husband. We're fond of her, even though she persists in wearing sweaters tied around her shoulders, because she's Absolutely Fabulous, a breezy fresh contrast to Stepford Wife Laura Bush and the usual helmet-hair political wife.

But don't go trying Teresa's recipe for pumpkin spice cookies in the Family Circle Cookie Cook-Off: it's not hers. After some voters complained to her that they didn't like it (even though in taste tests on TV, tasters were evenly divided), she said on NPR yesterday: "I never made pumpkin cookies; I don't like pumpkin spice cookies."

Apparently Teresa had originally submitted a recipe called Yummy Wonders, but the Family Circle test kitchen said it didn't work. When they called her office and asked if there had been a mistake, an aide sent the pumpkin cookie recipe without consulting her.

Mrs. Heinz Kerry is reported to be a good cook, and, as the New York Times helpfully informs us, "good cooks are usually upset when their names are associated with inferior recipes."

This is far from a silly sidenote, for the winning cookie has foretold who would enter the White House since its inception. (The Cookie knows all; the Cookie sees all.)

And if you don't like Our Lady of Ketchup, well, go Cheney yourself.

the vegan candidate

All I've heard in the campaign news lately is so tawdry ... all about Bush, Dick, and Johns (I'm writing a letter of protest to the FCC right now!).

But there are other people in the race you know. For example, my brother says he's going to vote for Dennis Kucinich, whom he saw speak at UCLA. He's got a sense of humor, that kid.

Dennis Kucinich, the Congressman of the Cleveland district, is the only Democratic candidate who hasn't dropped out the race since Kerry locked up the nomination. Raised in poverty as the son of a truck driver, he became the 31-year-old "boy mayor" of Cleveland (he youngest person ever elected to run a major American city) but he lost re-election after he refused to sell the city’s 70-year-old municipally owned electric system to a private competitor.

He also happens to be the only member of Congress who is a vegan. He turned to a vegan diet nine years ago first for health reasons (he is from Cleveland, after all), and because his sweetheart follows the diet as well, but now espouses the diet for ethical reasons.


Some relevant campaign info:

*He has called for labeling and safety testing of all genetically engineered foods.
*He would include advocacy of animal rights in his proposed cabinet-level Department of Peace.
*He supports numerous new incentives for farmers to convert to sustainable and organic farming and ranching techniques.
*He cosponsored every piece of major animal protection legislation in Congress.
*He would fully fund efforts to eradicate hunger by dramatically increasing our allocation to the UN World Food Program and push for the immediate cancellation of all bilateral debts of countries facing hunger.

His typical breakfast before was steak, eggs, cereal and six glazed doughnuts; now he might have oat groats sprinkled with walnuts, bananas, coconut and raisins, a bowl of miso soup, wheat toast and a plate of fresh vegetables.

Six glazed donuts?? I like donuts very much, but I'd go with the vegan breakfast here.

Costco Campaigning

The day before Independence Day, Foodgoat and I hit Costco, where we saw a couple buying food for 68 adults and 55 kids, a woman with 12 packages of hot dog buns (12 in each), and 3 kids each pushing a fully-loaded cart. We also snagged some free samples, which only made us hungrier, so on our way out, we stopped at the food court.


I'm not sure why they put picnic umbrellas up, considering it's all inside. But the food court is surprisingly tasty for something so cheap. We split a slice of pizza ($1.50) while I had a lemonade ($1) and Foodgoat indulged in a thick berry shake ($1.35). Between the food court and the free samples, you could have yourself a satisfying meal.

Yet another reason Costco is one of my favorite stores. Not only can you get things in huge quantities for a good cost, but they practice model labor policies. As a result, their labor costs are half that of Wal-Mart, despite paying much higher wages and providing excellent benefits.

So, it's gratifying to discover that Costco executives have been contributing to Democratic candidates. Howard Dean, Joe Lieberman, John Kerry and John Edwards have received contributions from various company officers. Jeff Brotman, the chairman, not only gave $2000 to the Lieberman campaign, he gave $5000 to Victory Campaign 2004, which calls for an aggressive challenge to the right-wing on the ground and on the air.

Press Release: Foodgoat Endorsement

Foodies For Kerry/Edwards, Unite!


We here at Foodgoat are happy to announce that we officially endorse the John Kerry/John Edwards ticket. Now, now, my Republican readers, don’t feel that we don’t respect your opinions here. Just to show our bipartisanship, we nominate and wholeheartedly support George W. Bush as the new baseball commissioner (which is what he really wants to be anyway). See, now we’re all happy.

Did I sway your vote? Heh, didn't think so. Political debate is usually annoyingly entrenched, contentious and worse, repetitive and boring. But in an election year, damn addicting. So although I'll still be posting about my own food adventures, my contribution to the discussion in the four months leading up to the election is not to bash on Bush (way too easy) or make Kerry look appealing (sometimes not easy enough) but to document the food connections: the culinary positions and gastronomic implications of this election. If any delegates out there want to sneak me into the DNC Convention, heck, I’ll blog the food there too. I'll tell you what the candidates eat, what they don't eat, if they cook, what their policies might mean for eating people everywhere. Got a hot tip on the secret ingredient in the First Lady's signature dish? Let me know and I'll dish it out here first.

After all, you can learn a lot about a person, or a country, through its food.

For example, we start off with the first, and most obvious, bit of election 2004 food trivia ....

This year, buying ketchup is a political act.

Like a lot of people, I have Heinz ketchup in my fridge. Heinz ketchup, the product that launched the considerable fortunes of the Heinz family, the heir of which married Teresa, who, after her husband's death, married John Kerry, my endorsed candidate.

I seriously doubt buying more ketchup makes any difference in how the election goes, but I'll buy more anyway. We're almost out. And anyway, I like their cheeky proposals for new labels.


But if you just can't stand the idea of however tangentially supporting the Democratic candidate, you could now buy W Ketchup: America's Ketchup.