Monday, April 28, 2008

Dog Bless America*

The dog blogger BiscuitGoat continues her takeover of the Foodgoat blog ...

I haven't paid much attention to politics in my life. But two years ago, after passing the test (with flying colors, I might add) I became a
Canine Good Citizen, so I feel it's my duty to contribute to the democratic process as much as I am able. Seeing as I'm not 18 yet though (4 more years to go!), I can't vote, so blogging and influencing the voting public it is.

Furthermore, in this election, there are Important Issues facing American dogs today. Not the least of these is the fact that there are over one thousand MWDs (Military Working Dogs) stationed in Iraq.

So, I consider each of the presidential candidates. First, I look at their pet record.

doesn't have a dog, and has no pet-owning record that I've been able to find. (FoxPetNets has repeating insidious rumors that Obama has a friend who once owned a squirrel but that's just mean-spirited gossip.) However, he did make a significant campaign promise: when the election is over, he promised his daughters they could have a dog, whether or not he wins. Usually one can't trust campaign promises, but Obama seems to have a calm assertive energy, and I believe him. Plus, the man has excellent taste in ham. (I'm partial to prosciutto myself.)

Clinton has a dog - a chocolate Lab named Seamus. Seamus was a gift from Hillary to Bill after their Lab, Buddy, was run over by a car. Buddy came after their cocker spaniel, Zeke, was also run over by a car. I'm not implying any impropriety, and no investigations have ever been called for. It's just ... it seems rather careless of them. Maybe it's unfair. But I wouldn't trust her to walk me down a busy street, so I can't very well trust her to run the country.

On the pet ownership issue, McCain, though, takes the cake. Right now he has Coco, a mutt (who he once saved from the brink of death with his quick action!),
Sam, an English springer spaniel, two more dogs named Lucy and Desi, two turtles named Cuff and Link, Oreo the black and white cat, three parakeets, and 13 saltwater fish. His ferret, alas, recently died of cancer. In the past, they have also had two mini-Dobermans, two snakes, one rabbit, a hamster, a mouse, an iguana and a gecko.

This makes it hard for me not to endorse John McCain. Clearly, the man can bring together an impressively diverse pack.

Still, I've got my reservations about him.

I must think of all my compatriot dogs stationed in Iraq. Remember, 100 human years is 700 dog years. That's a long time for us dogs. Our entire species could be completely different by then. And war is as hard on dogs as it on humans.
Remember in "Courage of Lassie" when Lassie got drafted, and came under fire right on the front lines? SO SAD. Lassie had PTSD! She had such a hard time adjusting back to civilian life! She had flashbacks! I have tried to do my part by sending care packages of Bil Jac treats and Doggles to our dogs in Iraq, but wouldn't it be better for us to send them home, than for us to send them there?

And, this very large menagerie of McCain's might also be suspect as well. Isn't it only crazy old ladies who amass these very large packs?

And, there are other issues I must still consider: their position on pet insurance, affordable pet medication, and standards for regulating the dog biscuit industry. Like everyone else, I'm watching this election carefully.

*Opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Foodgoat or Ladygoat.


  1. Anonymous12:04 AM

    Your story is just adorable. Absolutely priceless. Maybe Biscuit needs his/her own blog. I read your blog regularly and enjoy it very much. But I don't know that I've ever commented. Keep up the good work!

  2. Anonymous12:22 AM

    My friend, Carolyn T. forwarded your blog to me since she enjoyed it so much and I'm very glad she did. I liked this one even better than the one I read before and look forward to more enjoyable stories from you.

  3. Biscuit would be proud of our pet loving home. We've got two dogs, 1 cat, 1 guinea pig, 3 fish and 5 Hissing Madagascar Cockroaches (in a very secure tank!) Top that off that one dog, the guinea pig, and the fish have all exceeded their average lifespans and are geriatric pets still going strong along with their younger pet house-mates. Maybe we should run for office if Biscuit is voting!