Monday, March 27, 2006

Unnecessary Food Products

Seriously. Does the world really need purple cocktail sausages? Are parents clamoring for ways to sneak tiny hot dogs into their kids?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

all about water

Happy World Water Day!

O hydrogenated oxygen, how I appreciate you. I came of age during the California droughts. I've been to places where dependable access to tap water isn't always a given. I read Dune. And watched the movie.

True, Foodgoat appreciates you more, since he is always drinking you and insists that Cleveland will soon be able to leverage its position by a giant freshwater lake to achieve worldwide domination.

But bottled water, while occasionally useful, is so often such a scam.

My favorite example so far is H2Om Water, which is ...
Water exposed to loving words and music showed brilliant,
and complex crystallized patterns under the microscope at near freezing
temperatures. In contrast, polluted water, or water exposed to negative
thoughts and words, formed incomplete, asymmetrical patterns.
The labels are designed to "energize" the water with "good vibrations", they play music to the water to further positivize it, and when you drink it while you do yoga, you're supposed to think happy thoughts.

And that's on top of the crazy wastefulness of bottled water in the first place (ask the Penn and Teller guys about that one). Remember long long ago when we didn't even have bottled water? It's a miracle we survived.

Monday, March 20, 2006

And the house goes drip, drip, drip .....

As you might have noticed, I haven't been feeling very foodish. It's very sad. Instead I have been preoccupied by the following things:

1. A digital camera which doesn't work, and refuses to magically repair itself.
2. Wondering when "ginormous" became a legitimate word.
3. A dripping bathroom faucet, the fixing of which turned into a major bathroom remodelling effort, and me brushing my teeth in the kitchen.

You probably can't help with #1. Maybe you can with #2. But you can definitely help with #3. How? Help us choose a new bathroom faucet.

First, the setting: the old vanity, repainted mint green, to match the greenish color of the old tub and the toilet ... the walls are tan and black tile ... the new counter top will be black granite, cut by a local stone place with ginormous slabs of rock ... and I've got my eye on this sink ....

But we're undecided on the faucet.

On the one hand, there's this:

But then there's also this:

And also this:

People of the world, we are stuck! Help us decide!

Thursday, March 9, 2006

Java Mandala

I bring it to the people: Below is my sister's "Java Mandala" as it was originally presented, before it was unjustly censored by peevish, snooty anthropologists who wouldn't know art if it was ... well, right at their feet.

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Food art

When my sister was in college, she created an art display made of scattered coffee beans. It was positioned in the hallway, between the art practice department and the anthropology department. At least it was, until the anthropology department faculty had a conniption, complaining that they could smell the coffee in their classrooms (oh horrors!). The art department declared that henceforth, food products shall not be used in art displays.

BOO! BOO! to uptight anthropologists!

Food is a natural medium for art - so natural even babies do it. Here are some examples that have landed on my list in the past few weeks:

The Twin Towers, rendeded in McDonald's french fries and ketchup ...

An anatomically correct heart, out of those chalky Conversation Heart candies that no one ever eats ...

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

Gassy Meat

Yet another not to buy meat propped onto styrafoam trays and smothered in plastic wrap ... it seems the FDA lets supermarkets pack red meat in carbon monoxide gas, making it appear fresh and tasty when it's actually old and nasty. The picture compares two pieces of meat of the same age.

That's why I like getting meat at the West Side Market. Meat actually looks like the animals they actually were.

Thursday, March 2, 2006

I want to eat at ...

...The Giraffe Manor, a Kenyan hotel where giraffes can poke their heads into the second floor windows for a how-do-you-do and a little snack from you. How cool is that? Unless, of course, the giraffes have bad morning breath, in which case, ewww. Or they develop a taste for my Pringles, in which, BACK OFF! But I think they are herbivores and will mostly go after the vegetarian dishes, in which case, more power to ya, Giraffe-boy.

Giraffes, though, seem nice enough. Not like bears. Bears are dead to us.

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Happy Ash Wednesday

Celebrate with a chocolate Sacred Heart of Jesus!
Mmm! I didn't see a rosary made of M but I'm sure Chocolate Deities is just getting ready to roll them out for a splashy Good Friday debut.