Today's Groupon is a Failgate

Today's Groupon email started off promisingly enough, and appropriate since I was planning a night home watching the Cleveland Browns preseason game ...

 oooh, a patio oven!

But then came this:

Which I don't even understand.  You put your beer in a plastic cup that looks like an upside down beer bottle? 

And it's for girls night out why?

And then there was this:

At first I thought this was aimed towards women too, which is kind of offensive.  Even though I can't exactly remember what the wildcat formation is, or recognize the prevent defense when I see it. 

Anyway, it turns out this course is more for understanding football for work and networking situations.  Which is not a bad reason.  But the website for the course did make me laugh:

When they explain that it's a video course:

When you have to ask yourself if this course is for you:

When they describe what you'll learn:

 I'll stick with the oven ... actually, wait, can't you just make a pizza on any old grill?  One that doesn't cost $350?  And can cook other things too?

No Groupon purchases today.

Maybe All Girls Look Good in Cleveland Browns Gear

Former Secretary of State Condi Rice modeling a Josh Cribbs jersey for the NFL! 

These rabid devoted Cleveland Browns fans ... I can't get away from them.  

 

Smile now, girls, while it's still pre-season. 

WWBFD (What Would Brett Favre Do?) and Crock Pot Dulce de Leche

We have made easy and muy delicioso dulce de leche in the crock pot before, using a can of sweetened condensed milk. But could I also use the crock pot to make dulce de leche from scratch? Would that not be better and tastier?

Following Lora Brody's recipe in Slow Cooker Cooking, I put 3 cups of whole milk, a split vanilla bean, 1 2/3 cup of sugar, 1/4 cup water and a pinch of baking soda in the crock pot, left the lid off, set it on high, and went on my merry way.

For several hours, it just looked like this: hot, spiced milk.

And then 5 hours in ... voila! Caramel color! Thickened caramelliness!

But, the recipe dictated several more hours - 4 more hours, for a total of 9 hours in the crock pot.

And this is where I was faced with my Brett Favre moment.

Do I stop here, turn off the crock pot and take what looks to be a good batch, a successful batch, and call it a day?

Or do I keep going? Do I let it caramelize even more, reaching possibly even greater heights of glory? And risk going too long, ending a long, sweet run with the bitter taste of failure?

I took the way of Favre: I waffled about it forever, and finally decided to keep it in a little longer. The recipe, I figured, couldn't be that off. My crock pot, I thought, can't be that hot.

But while Brett Favre is currently generating talk of a possible MVP, my dulce de leche just generated talk of being my LFF - Latest Food Fail.

Because the next time I checked the dulce de leche, less than an hour later, it looked like this:

Burnt.

Not super-caramelly and slightly burnt, which might be good, but kind of curdled and a little too burnt.

Adding the additional cup of milk as directed by the recipe made it seem less burnt. It tasted okay, but it still had that bitter edge, and it wasn't quite the creaminess and sticky goodness I had hoped for, once had, and lost.

Which goes to show you that I am no Brett Favre, and that you should watch the food, not the clock, and not the recipe.

Foodgoat's BIG BOARD

Here at Foodgoat we love food, but there is something else we love more: that's the Cleveland Browns. This weekend is one of my favorite times of the year- the NFL draft- where I can hope my team can make itself better.

So, I like to lock myself in my house and totally throw out all my food habits. No cooking... no prep.. no meals that require me to leave the TV for more than 3 mins. That's right - JUNK FOOD! why do I do this: because I refuse to miss a moment of the DRAFT.

Without further ado- here is my first official posting of Foodgoat's Brown draft board.
(I am making an assumtion that a Quinn-like quarterback will be leading our team next year- appose to Anderson-like quarterback: notice how I don't say Quinn is our quarterback just one who plays that style - sorry Kara).

1) Aaron Curry LB (no brainer)
2) Rey Maualaga ILB (this is the biggest surprise of my board- I would take him at pick #5)
3) Andre Smith OT (another oddball- I care about Gametape not workouts: and he is a mauler at RT)
4) RJ. Raji DT ( you can't stop the run you don't win in the AFC north)
5) Tyson Jackson DE/OLB (I believe in more than other Tweeners)
6) Jason Smith OT (more of a LT than RT- but good)
7) Eugene Monroe OT (more of a LT- but can you say “Pulling Tackle”?)
8) Brian Cushing OLB (need LB badly)
9) James Laurinaitis ILB (Ohio State LB scare me... but I have faith in James)
10) Clay Mattews OLB (does any Brownie fan need an explanation on this one- I thought not)
11) Chris Wells RB (J.Lewis is getting old- a perfect replacement)
12) Alex Mack C (this dude is a football player)
13) Max Unger C (one step down from Mack)
14) Brian Orakpo OLB/DE (I don't have much faith in him)
15) Malcolm Jenkins DB (I think he will play safety)
16) Jeremy Maclin WR (speedy receiver)
17) Michael Oher OT (big guy)
18) Eric Wood C (almost as good as Mack : we need a center)
19) Ziggy Hood DT (I like DTs and he has some fire)
20) Larry English OLB/DE (another tweener: but I believe in him)
21) Knowshon Moreno RB (fast good running back… I just like the bruiser type more)
22) Robert Ayers DE
23) Brian Robiskie WR
24) LeSean McCoy RB
25) Michael Crabtree WR *
26) Louis Delmas FS
27) Patrick Chung SS
28) Will Moore FS
29) Rashad Johnson FS
30) Donald Brown RB

*I made a switch (as much as I dislike what I hear about Crabtree : I guess I have to put him on the board somewhere.

The Dog Blogs the Draft

It's the football draft weekend again, and I'm just glad that Foodgoat is not trying to put a giant Browns foam finger on my head, so I thought I'd play his draft day game too: take a shot every time there's a trade between teams during the first round. Today he's drinking Midori, the melon liqueur. How bad could it be?

Eight - no, wait, nine - trades later ...

For my one Browns game of the season, I went ALL OUT.

I not only brought the giant foam finger, but I drank (almost) the whole Labatt Big Blue. That's 25 big ounces of beer!

And that's the last game they won. Does that mean I should chug another big can o' mediocre beer on Sunday?

Ladygoat's first live football game

Oakland Raiders vs. Cleveland Browns

I was excited (after all, whoever won, I'd be happy, though of course Foodgoat didn't feel the same way). We picked up lunch (at 10:30) before the game at Panini's: sandwiches with coleslaw and french fries on the inside. (Dare I mention that such sandwiches are a long tradition and signature dish of arch-rival Pittsburgh? Okay, then, how about the fact that such sandwiches seem to known in parts of Europe as "American sandwiches"?)

The sandwich was just okay. Not nearly as fun as the world's largest touring grill cooking up sausages outside the stadium. Not that's a grill.


We didn't have any food actually inside the stadium, because it's a pretty long haul to the concession stands from the seats on the very last, the very top row (which also happen to be the only two seats out of 73,200 that didn't have a wind-blocking screen behind us, thus directing the full force of bracing Artic winds directly onto my neck). But it was still fun: the crowd was literally deafening, the Raiders fans were good sports (Darth Vader was there!), and, oh yeah, the Browns won.

And so it begins

What better way to kickoff the football season than big, fat burgers?

Foodgoat's hamburgers are made, according to him, like big flat meatballs. But the real keys are the surrounding goodies: bacon, onion rolls, grilled onions, lettuce, all kinds of condiments, and lots (and lots) of cheese. And of course, they should be cut in half.

Footballgoat

Well friends, our suffering is nearly over. As you can see, football season has arrived (aren't the tickets beautiful?)! It got me thinking about sports and food.

Baseball and food go hand in hand; games are a continuous chow-fest of cuisines of all kinds, from hot dogs to sushi. Heck, the only reason ladygoat ever got into baseball was the roaming hot dog vendor, who yells "Hotttt Doggggggggggg!" and brings a hot dog right to your seat. So I have food to thank for bringing her to a classic American past time.

The only real food in football, on the other hand, comes before the game, at brat & burger tailgating parties.

Could it be that football is just so darn exciting that no one wants to spend a minute away from the action? Or is it that the games are played in below freezing weather?

So how to get ladygoat to like my favorite sport of all time? Football games lack the culinary possibilities of baseball. Now that I think about it, the only food I got at a foodball game was beer or hot chocolate. Granted, that hot chocolate tasted like a million bucks (considering the temperature was in the single digits), but if it's that cold, all the hot chocolate in the world won't help. Hence my problem with football & food: if the games don't revolve around food as in baseball, how to get ladygoat to go to a game?

It's Draft Day!

There will be no cooking this weekend. Foodgoat is parked in front of the TV, in his Browns jersey, with a pen, mock drafts, prospect lists, a San Miguel beer, and a Sexyburger (aka Hormel Quick Meal Bacon Cheeseburger).