Don't Change Horseman Mid-Apocalyse! Bush/Cheney 2004!

Maybe you're wondering if I'm watching the RNC. Are you kidding? Wouldn't miss it, and I'm finding it great fun, tho' I thought the iDick was a tad boring. But, the convention is rife with opportunies for incredulous laughter, sarcastic jokes, and find-a-person-of-color scavenger hunts. But of course, what you don't see on TV is all the eating. It takes a lot of calories to delude yourself like that, and so enthusiastically, too. Here are some reports:


Unknown third Musketeer beats out Gov. George E. Pataki of New York and House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert in being able to pour beer:

The governor and the speaker migrated behind the bar. They rolled up their sleeves and began pulling pints of ale. Well, they tried to: "Unfortunately," said an aide to the governor, who confirmed the event, "all they could get from the tap was foam."

The Post reports that FOX News Channel commentator Cal Thomas couldn't find the bottle of ketchup for his ham and cheese omelet at the Double Tree Hotel restaurant.

When Thomas asked for some, the waiter brought him ketchup in an unmarked dish. Turns out the Illinois GOP delegation is staying at the hotel. "We were afraid the Heinz bottles would offend the delegates," the mousy management explained.

We are very sorry to have missed the Halliburton breakfast for the Texas delegation and the Qorvis/NRA/tobacoo lobby party, but I'd really like to hang out at the Tick Tock Diner, on the corner of 34th St. and 8th Ave, which CNN has rented out for the week:

nside the CNN Diner, your money is no good. There's an open bar, with CNN-themed cocktails like the "Crossfire Island," and peanuts and edamame peas for snacks. Staffers can enjoy, for free, a full menu of diner food -- burgers, popcorn shrimp, and "CNN Fries." News hounds not lucky enough to be employed by "The Most Trusted Name in News" -- and thus confined to the Garden's sweaty basement and sad-looking sandwiches -- can be forgiven for feeling jealous.