Lettuce salads are boring. Lettuce is boring. Lettuce sometimes resist being forked. Sometimes lettuce is not cut in the properly small, bite-size pieces, but instead into slightly too large, floppy pieces that end up flinging dressing everywhere but where I want it. Ergo, lettuce salads are a bore.
Instead I give you the celery salad, here mixed with pear and croutons and raisins and blue cheese dressing. Much more fork-compliant. And if you take out the blue cheese dressing, just as healthy.