Does It Burn? is a fine game, for cool, leisurely nights. Not the night when season 6 of 24 premieres (which, damn, was a bang-up start). Not the night when the expansion to Warcraft comes out either (I'm waiting for my donut, Foodgoat). But on an earlier night, yes, it's a fine pastime.
Today's contestants: white truffle oil, stale Poppycock popcorn snack, and old Hungry Howie's pizza.
The how is simple: Build a fire. Add test subjects. Note ability to burn.
The verdicts: The truffle oil, which we expected to go up in flames like olive oil and bacon fat, was shockingly slow and timid in catchin' afire. Really, we were almost embarrassed for it.
The old pizza? The box shrivelled into ash in good time, while the pizza itself took its time, turned black and all carbon-y, and put out a lot of smoke.
The stale Poppycock popcorn clusters were the big surprise of the night. A few minutes on a hot log in blazing fire was actually good for the snack. It returned them to crisp, crunchy goodness. Foodgoat plucked a few of the clusters from the flames, ate them, and declared them rejuvenated - returned to to its caramelized popcorn and nut ideal. A sort of Fountain of Snack Youth, if you will.