Friday, December 3, 2004

Tomato, tomahto

Hey! It's true! Wrapping unripe tomatoes in newspaper does ripen them faster!

Out tomato crop this year was sad and pathetic, and not just because deer treated it as their personal buffet table: the summer never warmed up enough to fully ripen the few fruits we had on the vine.

It wasn't just us. It seems Florida hurricanes and California rains led to a tomato shortage, which led to doubled, tripled prices. At Wendy's, tomatoes are available by request only, while McTaco has rolling salsa blackouts. Hoard your tomatoes! Well, at least until the end of the month, when the next crop comes in.

Finally, in the medical marijuana arguments, SCOTUS justice Stephen Breyer evokes a terrifying tomato future:
"You know, he grows heroin, cocaine, tomatoes that are going to have genomes in them that could, at some point, lead to tomato children that will eventually affect Boston."
I can see the film now: "Godzilla vs. Children of the Tomato: Boston Destroyahs!." Bahhston children become freaky religious and bizzah onna-conna eatin' poppy-tomayto genetic mutants and battle foreignah Godzilla, who goes on a rampage in chahmin Hahvihd Yahd, overturning pahked cahs.

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