Tuesday, December 14, 2004

impious food

To amuse ourselves during a long care ride, Foodgoat and I speculated on what we do if we bought the church-turned-daycare (where I bought a light fixture) which is for sale.

We decided on a diner.

Potential name: Hail Mary, Full of Grease

Slogan: Welcome to the garden of eatin'!

Area where you wait to get seated: Would have a sign that says "Purgatory"

The special: Jesus-Burgers with a side of Cruci-Fries

Menu: Listed inside, what else, a Bible.
Other dishes: Jalepeno "Pope"-ers? Our Taco Who Art a Tortilla? Blessed Are the Po'Boys? Christian Duck-trine?

All You Can Eat Friday: Featuring endless loaves and fishes! Buy one supper, get the Last Supper free!

For the kids: Paper Pope hats.

Live Lobsters: The Moses "Let my lobster go!" special. Where the lobster arrives to your table nailed to a cross on your plate.

Dessert: A whole cake shaped like the head of John the Baptist? Maybe. A dessert for each of the Seven Deadly Sins? Definitely. Like a giant ice cream sundae for Gluttony. (Envy could also be a giant ice cream sundae, but you have take from someone else's table.) And before ordering from the dessert menu you have to eat an apple first.

What do you think?

And via the bitter shack of resentment comes the s'more Nativity set. Why yes, baby Jesus does look tasty.

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