I am Not Sure What This is

 

I hoped that Oikos Crunch in Lemon Shortbread yogurt would be something I would like.   I wanted to like Oikos Crunch in Lemon Shortbread.  After all, like Sansa - lemon cake is my favorite.  Well, actually shortbread is my favorite and lemon bars are my favorite, and I don't recall ever having lemon cake, but close enough, and even if they weren't, do you think I could really resist a Game of Thrones quote?  

But I am sorry to report that I am not sure this is actually counts as yogurt.  It appears to have started as yogurt.  But then it was drowned in sugar and lemon flavor.  So it didn't seem particularly yogurty.  Or healthy, which is why most people eat yogurt to begin with.  And then I was asked to cover it up with even more sugary cookie bits.  

But the worst part is that the topping includes a lot of white chocolate.  I do not care for white chocolate, WHICH IS NOT  REAL CHOCOLATE.  

So for breakfast I had this things that tasted more like dessert, and a dessert that just tasted mostly of sugar.  What does this make this?  

I think I will go make my own yogurt, and my own granola now. 

I Should Make Shortbread Again

Out of my household, I think I am alone in my love of anything made predominantly out of butter. 

There are a lot of memorable things about Blade Runner, not the least of which is the noodles

Garbage Plate

I found this photo of a garbage plate in my Blogger drafts dated early 2013, so it's been about two years since Foodgoat has made a garbage plate.

I think it's a kid-friendly meal.  There's pasta.  There's melted cheese.  I think it could be a win with the Goatlings.

The older Goatling probably had it before, and I have no recollection if she liked it or not, though that may not stop from addressing any reluctance to try the Garbage Plate with the (oft-used) phrase, "You had it before!  And you liked it!  Really!"  Though the kids never seem to believe me when I tell them they USED to like it, and it doesn't seem to make any impact on whether they like it NOW.

But, I like it, I've always liked it, and I'm confidant I'll like it again, so let's make it!

Berry Flavored Oreos: A Range of Reactions

We bought Berry Flavored Oreos.

Here are the responses:

• Child 1 (the one who picked it out):  Gagged immediately and refused to take another bite.
• Adult 1: Thought it tasted just okay.  Ate one more.  And then another.  By which time it did not taste fine, at all.
• Adult 2: Thought it tasted better than expected.  Knew enough to not eat any more.
• Child 2: Said it was yummy and kept eating them until I had to put the package away and distract her with My Little Pony videos.

It's Not a Party Until A Pig Gets Roasted

 Last week I visited California, and my visits need to always include a big Filipino party, because that's when I get to feast on one of these:

 

Look how big it is!

 

Roasted pig - lechon -  is delicious. I mean really, that's all I need to say about it.

Where can one get these in Cleveland?  Do you think my kids would like a pig roast theme at one of their birthday parties?  How about a princess pig roast theme?  We could feed the whole class!  And their families! 

 

This Is What I Need in My Life

I just now learned about Raclette.

Samosas and The Librarians

I started watching The Librarians this season, the new show on TNT, which I think is fair to describe as an American Doctor Who.  But a little lighter, a little sillier, with magic instead of timey-wimey, a magical door instead of a TARDIS.  It's fun and it has John Larroquette, and Noah Wylie pops in every once in a while acting loopy and very Doctor Who-like, so it makes me happy.   So knowing my luck, it's going to cancelled.

The show revolves around a group of Librarians who, along with their Guardian, go around the world collecting/saving the world from magical objects.  In one recent episode, the magical object was a house.  A scary, terrifying house wherein lived a serial killer.  But it turns out the house itself wasn't evil, it was the House of Refuge.  A magical house that provides people what they need. 

And how did they discover this?  Ezekiel, the world class Australian thief, finds himself in a miniature dollhouse version of the house, and discovers that the house will give him samosas.

Yes, he asks for samosas, and they just appear.  He asks for beer and it appears in his hand.  He asks for an Xbox One, and there you go. 

But the really important thing is he got SAMOSAS.

 

So since that episode, I've really really wanted samosas.  I will also take a magical house that provides samosas on demand, but I will also take samosas that I have to pick up. 

Ta da!  We got 3 orders of samosas just for us.  A few days later we got more samosas.

But I'm still not satisfied, honestly.  I could still have more samosas.

Red Velvet Oreos + Backstory

Why yes, I am mildly interested in the fact that Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos are coming in February, just in time for Valentine's Day!

Mostly to check out the cream cheese filling, because cream cheese frosting is by far the best part of red velvet cake. 

A lot about red velvet cake turns out to be fairly modern.  Velvet cakes first appeared in the 1800s, a reference to their smooth texture.   In the 1930s, New York City's Waldorf-Astoria started serving a red velvet cake - the red referencing either the hint of red from the interaction between cocoa and acid, or from the use of brown sugar, which used to be called red sugar.

But red velvet cake really didn't take off until a Texas food extract company, wanting to move its red food coloring and butter extract products, started distributing a red velvet cake recipe to shoppers, during World War II.  Only after spreading out through the Midwest during the 1940s and 50s did red velvet cake start to become especially popular in the South.  And somewhere along the line, cream cheese frosting was added. 

And then of course, for the the past 10 years we've had a fancy cupcake craze, in which red velvet has done well.  According to someone really, truly named Mr. Sprinkle, the year 2011 was when “red velvet cake flavor emerged as a force of nature.” 

In May of last year, the New York Times thought the end might be in sight, citing a marketing researcher who was not named Mr. Sprinkle (honestly, that's the best name ever), “There is a limit to the red-velvetization potentials in different categories ... Red Velvet wine, for example, is an effort that may not lead to more product launches.”

So Red Velvet Oreos may, appropriately enough, be the death knell for the whole red velvet cake thing.  Unless there is a Red Velvet latte Starbucks.  Wait, what?  Argh!  THERE ALREADY IS!!

An Unexpected Pierogi

We've been burning through the big bag of fresh tortillas from Costco making quesadillas, lots and lots of quesadillas,- in the past month, because kids will always eat them, they are easy to make, they are delicious, and did I mention that kids will always eat them? 

What makes them particularly delicious are the excellent uncooked flour tortillas made, I think, by TortillaLand, and found in the refrigerated section of Costco.  They are light years better than any other tortillas I've found at the grocery store.  They are thicker, chewier, fresher, and not only do they have flavor, they have excellent flavor. 

But then Foodgoat came up with an even better use of the tortillas, which also happens to be the best use ever of leftover mashed potatoes. 

Pierogies!

He put some warmed up leftover mashed potatoes inside a tortilla, pinched it shut, sauteed it in olive oil, and topped it with sour cream, shredded cheese, and green onions.  And there you have it - a great big pierogi, better than anything Mrs. T makes, in just a few minutes. 

I love that it makes use of leftovers.  I love that it's quick.  I love that it's so simple even I might try it by myself.  But mostly I love anything that's fried, and potato-y, and cheesy, and sour cream-y. 

12 Days of Polvoron: Small Batch Polvoron

To celebrate the Philippines this holiday season (and bring attention to the continued need for typhoon relief), I'm doing 12 days of polvoron.  

I thought I'd start with the basic recipe I will be using, a small batch version.   Most recipes for polvoron make large batches, which can be great for families and sharing, but what if you just want a few?

Easy!  Polvoron is simple to scale down into a small batch.  It makes about a dozen, which is good for a family snack, or just one person, if you can eat as much polvoron as I can in one sitting.  And it doesn't take very long - the longest part is toasting the flour, and that's like 5 minutes.

Small Batch Polvoron

1/2 cup flour

1/4 cup powdered milk (full fat is better than non fat, if you can find it)

2 1/2 tablespoons sugar

4 tablespoons melted butter

pinch of salt (if using unsalted butter)

1. Toast the flour on a dry skillet or saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly, until lightly browned. 
2. Mix the flour with the powdered milk, sugar, and salt. 
3. Pour in the melted butter a little at a time, mixing with a spoon until it starts to clump and resemble damp sand.   
4. Pack it firmly in the polvoron mold.  Refrigerate to harden it a bit if you feel like it.  Wrap it up in tissue paper if you feel like it.  Or just eat it straight up.  

12 Days of Polvoron

It's #GivingTuesday!  Following the crazy consumerism of Black Friday through Cyber Monday, Giving Tuesday is an effort to bring everyone together for a national day of giving.  

This year, the cause I will be supporting is much more personal.  My parents were in the Philippines at the time of Typhoon Haiyan, and flew out of the typhoon danger zone to safety just before all flights were cancelled.  

Not so lucky were the many people in my family's hometown of Sigma, a small, rural community in the province of Capiz.  As in many parts of the Philippines, the typhoon caused significant damage and destruction there.  Especially hard hit was the local elementary school - Ponsaran Elementary, named for my grandfather.

Right before the typhoon, my parents were in Sigma to help build a fence around the Eleodoro J. Ponsaran Elementary School, which has 120 students.  But Typhoon Haiyan not only destroyed the fence - it also destroyed much of the school building itself, including the entire roof.  Because of the extensive damage, the government is considering closing the school, instead of repairing it.  This will require the children to walk 7 kilometers to another school, in an area that is rural and mountainous.

The teachers and parents want to reconstruct the school. Local residents have volunteered to provide the labor.  They just need the construction materials to repair the roof and rebuild the walls.

To help, my family has started a fundraiser to supply the people of Sigma with the tools and materials necessary to help them to rebuild their town.  The funds will be used to purchase locally-sourced lumber and construction materials to repair damage to the school.  It will also be used for tents for temporary shelter, and to repair or construct new homes. 

So for this Giving Tuesday, I hope you will consider a contribution to the Rebuilding Sigma Fund as well.

12 Days of Polvoron Challenge!

And, to continue celebrating the Philippines this holiday season, I'm going to do 12 days of polvoron over the next month.

Polvoron is a kind of shortbread treat, a butter-heavy, milk sweet that is popular in the Philippines, particularly around the holidays.  I've posted about it a couple times already, but this time, this month, I'm going to try to come up with 12 different variations.

I've really only stuck to the basic recipe before, so I'm not really sure what I'm going to come up, or how it's going to turn out.  Me experimenting in the kitchen has the potential for really epic failure.  I'm not, by any means, a polvoron pro.  So if you have suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments!

It Has Been Decided in Your Favor!

For years and years, I have had an alert set up on ebay to let me know when a swami napkin dispenser is listed.  What's a swami napkin dispenser?  It's the best way I could think of describe this:

Yes, it's William Shatner!  With a mysterious fortune-telling napkin dispenser at a diner in Ohio, where his car has broken down!   Does the mystic seer really know all?   Is William Shatner crazy?    Will they ever leave?

The Twilight Zone episode is called "Nick of Time", and it's a wonderful episode.  Annd Twilight Zone Shatner is my very favorite Shatner.

So naturally I've always wanted a creepy, devil-headed napkin dispenser of my very own, so I can ask it fearfully every day if this is the day I leave Ohio.

Anyway, sometimes such an item appears on eBay, but they're always rusty and cost $200, so I am pretty excited that ThinkGeek now sells these color-changing glasses featuring the ominous mystic seer for $20:

I think I'll take my beer with a moral lesson about controlling one's destiny and giving away your power to make your own choices.  

Olive OIl

This sale showed up in my email, and it took me a minute to wonder ... wait, is that just olive oil?

Why yes, it is.

The moisturizer is called olive virgin oil, I guess so you think it's something different from what you have been using to cook with, and which I'm presuming you are not paying $33 (on sale!) for 1 ounce.

That being said, olive oil does make a perfectly nice moisturizer, although if we're sticking strictly to the kitchen cabinet, I prefer coconut oil myself.

Salting Eggplant

Salting has become a non-negotiable step in my eggplant preparation.  A liberal dusting of salt and an hour in a strainer to let the bitterness ooze out and a rinse has made roasted eggplant a far more tolerable dish.

Quesa-rito

Foodgoat tried his hand at making his own quesa-rito, the super secret menu item from Chipotle.

That's a burrito made from a quesadilla, and yes, it's awesome.

Tuesday

I'm having a bad day.  The government has shut down, because ... well, no good reason, really.  I was kind of disappointed with Darkness at Pemberley (though to be fair, it was still a lot better than Inferno).  And now David Tennant is running around looking like this:

 

I need a pun joke to cheer me up. 

 

Or cassata cake from Corbo's (did you know it comes in 10 different sizes?)!! 

Or the new Hobbit trailer!!!

Cherry Amaretto

Last year, I went a little crazy during cherry season, and so when faced with one last, large bag of cherries I did the only rational thing and soaked them in amaretto in a jar in the fridge.

A few months after that, I strained out the cherries, and put the now bright red liqueur back in the jar in the fridge.

A year later, I am still taking the occasional sips of bright red, incredibly sweet, intensely flavored cherry infused amaretto on those times when I can't decide if I want candy or I want alcohol.

On Deciding Whether I Should Cook with Coke

The other day, we got some fast food, which included what seemed to be unusually large fountain drinks.  So large that we didn't come close to finishing it.  And because I sometimes have these irrational hoarder tendencies, I saved the leftover Coke.   It was almost a quart!

Of course, one doesn't drink leftover flat Coke.  So I wondered if if I could cook with it.  And the Internet said I could!

The Coke website, as it turns out, has a whole section of recipes that uses Coke or other soft drinks.  And there's this Cooking with Coke site. I had no idea you could incorporate soft drinks into your appetizers, side dishes, AND main courses!  Not to mention desserts!  

Should I make the Coca-Cola meatloaf?  The Coca-Cola cranberry chutney?  The Hungarian goulash spiked with Coke?  The Coca-Cola Italian minestrone?

I had almost settled on the Coca-Cola cherry salad (it also calls for a tub of whipped topping!) when I started to ask myself some questions. 

Do I even like the taste of Coke?  

•  Answer:  Actually, not really.  I like cold Coke on a hot day, but I kind of like anything cold and fizzy and sweet on a hot day.

Do I need anything contained in Coke?

• Answer: No, it is loaded with high fructose corn syrup, caffeine, and a whole lot of other chemicals that are not only nutritionally empty but potentially harmful.

But the question that really made a difference to me:

Didn't the Coke come with ice?  

• Answer: Yes, it did, and fast food ice machines are notoriously filthy.  FILTHY.  Those ice machines and soda fountain nozzles are rarely cleaned correctly. 

Conclusion:  

I decided that this was going down the path of madness, and so I dumped the leftover Coke and didn't cook anything with it.  And just thinking about Coke so much made me wish I didn't drink it in the first place.  

But  I'm bookmarking that Coca-Cola Rice recipe, for future reference. 

My First Potato Crop

This year, I decided to grow potatoes.  I got myself some organic German Butterball seed potatoes, a Smart Pot, and a big bag of soil, and crossed my fingers.

It grew well, until I went on vacation in July, and came home to a potato plant that looked like it had been trampled by the deer. It was still alive, but never quite recovered the thriving look it once had.  

So last week we just dug it all up to see if there was anything there.  

There was, but so tiny!  The entire crop fit into one bowl, and all the potatoes were the size of cherry tomatoes. 

I was so disappointed.

But then Foodgoat decided to make mashed potatoes out of them. 

We tasted the potatoes just after boiling them, and my friends, it was the BEST POTATO I HAVE EVER TASTED.

It was incredibly flavorful.  I don't normally think of potatoes as having a pronounced flavor - I usually think of them, frankly, as a carrier for other flavors, like sour cream or cheese or bacon - but this potato was truly delicious.  I had no idea potatoes could taste like that. 

And when Foodgoat finished turning them into mashed potatoes, it was the best mashed potatoes I've ever had. 

So yes, next year, I'll be growing potatoes again.