Wednesday, March 10, 2004

I scream for ice cream!

I scream for ice cream!

I think I'm addicted to sugar. The week after my wisdom teeth were pulled I ate ice cream every day. Sometimes twice a day, for a total of one gallon in one week. Poor Foodgoat only got a couple spoonfuls.

However, the result seems to be that I am addicted to sugar. Whereas before I went for months with nary a dessert, now, after every meal I'm trawling the apartment looking for something sweet. I'm pressing my nose onto the plastic window separating me from the 55-cent Twizzlers, trying to tell myself that God really didn't want me to give up vending machine snacks at work for Lent. I'm even reduced to using the Junior Mint chapstick just for the taste of cheap chocolate.

No wonder I decided to try out Cold Stone Creamery, the latest super-premium ice cream chain, dragging Foodgoat with me, even though my brother and sister had already warned me that I wouldn't like it.

The first sign of trouble came before we even got inside. From 20 feet away we found ourselves walking into a light scent, then a waft, then an overwhelming death cloud of sugary sweetness. We that close to being choked to death on sucrose vapors. If a suicide bomber, at this moment, chose Cold Stone as the location of his/her martyrdom, we'd all be caramelized on the stop.

But no, nothing catastrophic happened (please excuse me, I am suffering true-life crime show withdrawal, which I have also given up for Lent). The menu is not what I'm expecting, though, and as I do when confused, I panic and do something I'm used to. I ordered a medium scoop of chocolate, two spoons, no toppings.

What I should have ordered is a bunch of toppings, because that's what they're known for: mixing toppings into their ice cream on a cold marble counter.

So I didn't get the full experience. But I don't usually care for a lot of toppings anyway, and my sister, who had Oreos and M&M's and chocolate chips, said I didn't miss much: it's way too sweet. The ice cream was pretty good: definitely creamier and smoother than usual.

But at $3.50, it wasn't that good. And seriously, if I need a sugar high I just need to stand inside the store for a few minutes.

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