Two crock-pot failures
Two experiments in one night, no survivors.

#1 Large pearl tapioca pudding: I thought this might be the dessert they served for one of the meals on the United flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco (yes, it's true: airplane food I actually thought was really good!), so I put half a cup of large tapioca pearls, all I had left, in the crock pot with two cups of water. And almost immediately, the pearls completely dissolved. Leaving me with icky brown water that could never be pudding. I'm not sure why this happened, because they seem to maintain structural integrity all right when they're in boiling water for two hours for bubble tea.

Since this failed me, I went on to ...

#2 Crock pot oatmeal: I have to eat breakfast. And the sweetened cereals and pop tarts just don't cut it anymore. However, I'm also very lazy and loath to get up in the morning. So for a long time I thought oatmeal in the crock pot would save me. But having finally gotten around to trying it, I'm disappointed. I put half a cup of rolled oats with one cup of water and some raisins and sugar in the crock pot last night, and woke up to gelatinous goop. So this is what overcooked oatmeal tastes like! Back to the instant stuff.