But If There's Mashed Potatoes, It's a Bath Day

Things we need when GoatSpawn has dinner:

1. Vacuum (now always plugged in and parked in the dining room)
   
2. Paper towels
   
3. Cleaning spray
   
4. Baby wipes
5. Soap & water
6. New set of clothes for her
7. New shirts for us
   

Avoca-Don't

Yesterday's Uncrate, in its post about the new Four-in-One Avocado Tool from Williams-Sonoma, began with:

"Even the craftiest of cooks will tell you that avocados can be time-consuming and tough to deal with ..."

I don't consider myself the craftiest by any means, but I actually think avocados are really quick and easy to deal with. Avocados are not messy or excessively juicy like mangos, they don't have a prickly thick skin like pineapples, the seed is just one big seed that pops out unlike watermelons, and the juices don't stain everything like beets.

A single small knife has always worked just fine to open and slice an avocado for me. Maybe a fork to mush it up.

So who is this product for? The full-time guacamole maker? The person afraid of avocados and so needs a special tool to approach it? The gadget collector? The people with too much money and too much kitchen storage space?

Ice Cream Mind Games

I have been married to Foodgoat for two years, together for over twelve years.

And yet sometimes I feel like I don't understand him at all.

For one thing, he thinks that a meeting originally planned for Wednesday but has been moved forward two days, is now changed to Monday, while I think it's now on Friday.*

But that has nothing to do with food.

A couple weeks ago I brought home ice cream. Ciao Bella Gelato in Malted Milk Ball. Malted Milk Ball pieces in rich malted cream.

Sounds good, doesn't it? Sounds tasty, yes? Can't wait to try it, can you?

And yet, weeks later, that ice cream is still there, in the freezer, UNTOUCHED.

He has not mentioned it, not brought it out, not suggested, "Hey, let's try that new ice cream!"

Does he not know about it?

Impossible! I told him about it! He saw me put it in! It's sitting RIGHT ON TOP, where you can see it every time you open the freezer.

Does he not see it?

Impossible! It's ice cream, not a guy in a gorilla suit! One always notices ice cream!

Did he forget about it?

Impossible! Who, in the heat of the Midwest summer, "forgets" that they have ice cream in the freezer?

Could he possibly be uninterested in the ice cream?

Impossible! He likes ice cream! He likes malt! WHO DOESN'T?

So now I'm thinking he's playing some kind of sick ice cream mind game with me. A test of wills about who will cave into the ice cream first. Who will demonstrate their iron will against smooth and creamy hand-crafted gelato first? Who can resist the call of malt candy and ice cream together in a delicious dessert more?

I can hold out as long as you can, Foodgoat! I'm not going to taste that ice cream until you do first, no matter how delicious it sounds, no matter how hot it gets, how tempting Malted Milk Ball gelato is to me!

Or will he drive me slowly crazy by pretending there's no ice cream here, that I've only imagined it, like an ice cream-themed Gaslight?

Another Day of Lactose Intolerance

When I was a kid, I was told I was allergic to milk. When I was a teenager, I realized nothing happened when I drank milk, so I drank milk to my heart's content, pints of the stuff every day. When I was in my mid-20s, I found that drinking milk starting giving me queasy, uncomfortable feelings. I cut back. I cut back more. Eventually, I stopped drinking any milk at all.

But every once in a while, I'll drink milk again, just to see if I'm still lactose intolerant.

I am.

I should really just try Lactaid - milk modified for the lactose intolerant. But I can't help thinking it's not "real" milk. The same way decaf is not "real" coffee. But it's just milk with a lactase enzyme added to break down lactose into simple sugars (glucose and galactose).

The lactase comes from fungi, and the process was developed in the 1980s by a scientist in the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Agricultural Research Service (her work also led to the development of reduced fat mozzarella, which I am far less motivated to try).