Thursday, July 17, 2008

GoatSpawn Exposed

GoatSpawn here, checking in with the world.

When I'm not busy growing all the necessary parts for human life (which takes a lot more time than you would think), I'm already contemplating this food thing. So far, I only get to see the food after some processing by Ladygoat, but I've found when she eats, I have the energy to begin another round of trying to beat my way out of this place. Especially since she has continued to insist upon a daily cup of coffee. (My current digs are quite comfortable, except that every once in a while, this loud booming voice announces, "Spawn ... I am your ... Father." )

Indeed, Ladygoat has continued to eat a lot of things since I've been around. While some women get puritanical every little thing that passes into their system, Ladygoat has tried to forestall pregnancy paranoia. Fortunately, her doctor seems to follow the same philosophy, since, when asked about diet, he just shrugged and said, "Everything in moderation."

Among the foods I've already be exposed to:
  • Soft cheeses, including mozzarella, feta, bleu cheese, and brie: Puh-leeze, as if Ladygoat could go nine months without cheese. And the risk of food poisoning, specifically listeriosis? Ladygoat's never, ever gotten food poisoning from her cheese sources.
  • Deli meats: What would Foodgoat make for lunches without deli meats? The alleged problem is risk of food poisoning, listeriosis again. And like the cheese, Foodgoat's preferred deli meat sources have never steered him into food poisoning.
  • Liver: Ladygoat loves liver. And the fact that it's high in Vitamin A sounds like a good thing. Unless, maybe, you eat liver and have a vitamin A-packed supplement. But if you have a choice between the nutrient-rich food and the nutrient-rich pill, don't you always take the food? Especially if it comes with fried onions?
  • Bacon and hot dogs: They may be high in nitrates. But they're also very high in tastiness. And, the research is skimpy and inconclusive (nitrates in well water as a result of contamination is probably far more problematic than the occasional, but oh so delicious! slice of bacon). And Ladygoat must ... have ... bacon.
  • Fish: The whole mercury thing has made fish a complicated ingredient to monitor. Just keeping track of all the different types of fish and the various suggested frequencies made Ladygoat's brain hurt. She resorted to the general philosophy that some fish was better than no fish.
  • Uncooked foods like sushi: Ladygoat specifically asked her doctor about sushi, who assured her that as long as it was prepared properly, sushi was fine. They had a long discussion about the merits of particular sushi restaurants, and Ladygoat's favorite was deemed safe. So sushi she did. Very happily.
  • Alcohol: While it's pretty clear that more than 3 - 4 drinks daily during pregnancy isn't such a great idea, what risks (if any) light to moderate drinking have are much fuzzier. There may even be benefits (which makes sense, since pregnant women have had wine in Europe for time immemorial, which has not seemed to cause a collapse in civilization). Ladygoat's doctor said she could have the occasional glass of wine with dinner, so she has had the occasional sips of wine and beer. Foodgoat has responded by drinking twice as much.
Well, I see that it's getting late, so I will now wait 'til things quiet down around here, so as to begin yet again to try to kick my way out. I'll bust out of here eventually!


  1. Anonymous3:57 PM

    Hey, congratulations on the pregnancy! And especially congratulations for being sane enough to approach it with common sense - I am sure that Spawn is in great hands with you two!!