What's on the menu?

I pity anyone who endeavors to learn English as a second language, because it's a crazy language. Nothing sounds the way it looks. All the grammar rules have dozens of exceptions. Every exception has it own exception. There are lots of synonyms, except that some synonyms aren't exactly synonyms but more like sort-of synonyms.

So attempts at translations seem inevitably doomed from the start.

Witness this much-linked "English" menu.