Brady Quinn Ice Cream

Sometimes, you find something that seems to have exactly what you want and desire. It has all the right ingredients, everything about it sounds just right, it comes from a reputable brand that has a history of winners, and damn if it even just looks good.

You have to wait to try it, though, but you are patient. You are patient because you know the wait will be worth it. How could it not?

And then one day you sit down with a big bowl and a spoon, ready to experience in real life the deliciousness which up until now had only been tasted in your imagination.

Only to be so, so disappointed.

I'm talking, of course, about ...
Oops, wrong photo!

I mean ...

Last month, I was chagrined to find that Foodgoat was not at all interested in trying the malted milk ball ice cream that sounded so delicious. Eventually, after weeks of him not acknowledging its presence in the freezer, I had to concede that he's just not that into it, and I scooped it into a bowl for one. A big bowl. Actually, to be honest, I just sat on the floor with a spoon and the ice cream. I was sure it was going to be that good.

Except that it wasn't. It was just ... okay. The malt balls didn't quite have the snappy, crunchy bite I was hoping for, and while the malt ice cream was good, it wasn't as good as, say, a vanilla malt or mocha malt milkshake from Mitchell's.

Foogoat, when he did get around to tasting it, only said, "It tastes homemade," by which he means, "The texture isn't smooth enough" or possibly, "I knew it would suck."

How he knew it wouldn't be good I'm not sure, but he could have just told me so in the beginning so I could have saved myself from the heightened expectations and subsequent disappointment. Or he could have bought himself a Cleveland Browns jersey with 'MALTED MILK BALL ICE CREAM" on the back. Same thing.