The Quest

Once upon a time, many ages ago (last summer), Ladygoat visited her family in the faraway land of Cal-i-fornia. Her kind-hearted brother and sister, who pitied the Ladygoat for her banishment to Cleve-Land, gave her to drink a mysterious concoction. It was called Pearl Tea, though others spoke of it in hushed voices as Bubble Tea, or Boba Tea, or Milk Tea. The drink was plentiful in their land, it flowed from many trendy shops and Asian restaurants alongside juice bars and coffeehouses, and Ladygoat was enchanted, for the drink was refreshing and fun and used giant straws.

But when Ladygoat returned to Cleve-Land, there was no Bubble Tea to be found, though she yearned for more. She attempted to make it herself, but despite many efforts and the use of a pre-assempted kit, the results were unsatisfactory and un-tasty.

But one day, word came to her that there was indeed one place in the kingdom that offered the tasty drink, as well as various auto parts. Ladygoat summoned them to her but alas, they do not deliver. So she set out, along with her guide the Foodgoat, to seek out this strange shop, this TurboFour: Sport Compact Parts and Cafe.

After many trials and tribulations, and at least 10 minutes of driving, they finally came to 3030 Superior Avenue on a Saturday morning. But a powerful wizard must have hidden the entrance, for they could see the sign but no way to go in! Fear not, our heroes bravely walked around to the back parking lot on E.31st and discovered the True Path.

Inside, a wise man concocted the precious drinks -- a Coffee Mocha, and a Purple Delight (taro-flavored). They waited anxiously; Ladygoat considered a spoiler for her Honda Civic while Foodgoat contemplated a biohazard sticker for his VW Jetta. They offered the wise man the keys to the kingdom but he really only wanted $5.

And so at long last, their long quest was completed and their thirst quenched: the bubble tea was cool and sweet, and the black tapioca balls chewy and filling.