It's Bean called that before, but not by you

A long time ago, I got a big bag of dried black-eyed peas.

A couple weeks ago, I got some smoked ham hocks.

I had no idea what to do with them.

So they sat around for a while, forgotten.

And then, one day, the waiting was over. It was time to make Hoppin' John.

Hoppin' John is a mix of beans (usually the black-eyed pea kind) and rice, flavored with meat (usually ham), and herbs. The name comes either from a) the custom of inviting guests to saying "hop in, John", b) an old New Year's Day ritual where kids hop once around the table before eating the dish, or c) the French-Creole word pois pigeon (pronounced pwah pee-zhohn), or pigeon peas, a native pea in the Caribbean that was also eaten mixed with rice. Take your pick.

In any case, black-eyed peas were brought to the United States by African slaves in the 1600s, and Hoppin' John has been a mainstay of African-American and Southern cuisines ever since, particularly as the traditional good-luck dish for New Year's Day.

But why wait? Have some now. It tastes good (and is good for you!) Use the crock pot while you're at it.

Hoppin' John

The night before, soak several handfuls of dried black-eyed peas in water.

Chop a couple of garlic cloves, a medium onion, a green pepper or two, and a celery rib (all optional, but good stuff). Put it in the crock pot with two ham hocks, a sprinkling of salt and pepper, a pinch of allspice and cayenne, and a couple of dashes of worcheshire sauce, and keep it in the fridge 'til morning.

Drain the peas in the morning, give a quick rinse, and fill up the crock pot, along with about 3 cups of water or stock, and turn it on.

When you come back after work, make rice (and is there any other way to make rice than in the rice cooker? I think not.) Serve the beans on top of warm rice. If you don't feel bound by tradition you can also add cheddar and sour cream, and let's face it, cheese and sour cream makes everything better.

Poor Man's Pesto



Pesto = pine nuts & basil = Italian tastiness! = $$$

Winter pesto = walnuts & parsley = fake Italian tastiness! = $

This is one easy peasy recipeezy, even for lil' ole, lazy-ass me. Not to mention that it's surprisingly good and a nice change of pace from the usual no-time-to-cook!-pasta-and-tomato-pasta-sauce-dinners. And I love dipping into the big, handy bag of walnuts in the freezer.

It also goes well with a last-minute side of tasty cherry pierogies from the Pierogie Palace.

Winter pesto pasta
[modified from Mark Bittman's "The Minimalist Entertains"]

Boil a pot of water with some salt.

In a small food processor, mix up a handful of parsley, a handful of walnuts, a garlic clove or two, and a bunch of olive oil into a creamy paste.

Meanwhile, back at the range ...

Add pasta to the boiling water. (And that's when you realize that you had just picked up pierogies that morning. It's not too late! So you add two cherry pierogies to about an inch of water in a skillet.

When the pierogies are warmed through, drain.)

Oh look! And the pasta's done now, too. Drain 'em.

(Fry the pierogies lightly in olive oil.).

Add the pasta back to the pot with some olive oil. Turn the heat to low, while you mix the paste into the pasta. Add more olive oil if it's too thick.

And voila!

Lost in Translation: When Good Flavors Go Bad!
A fine candy, suitable to movie experiences of all types, ...


... does not necessarily a fine lip balm make.

Especially when the penetrating scent of cheap chocolate is followed by a funky taste.


A traditional favorite holiday sweet ...

... is only so-so in the seasonal Starbuck's Peppermint Mocha.

For some reason the java-peppermint flavors just didn't jive. Which was really disappointing, because that $3.50 could've gotten me an OxyContin pill from the street dealer outside the 7-11, if I was that kind of person, which I'm not, but still, it's the principle.

Maybe I'm just having bad mint luck. Maybe I don't even like mint as much as I thought. I'm so confused.

Fake Cheese, As Far As the Eye Could See
In case you were wondering, Chili Cheese-flavor Cheez-Its, sprinkled on top of Kraft Mac-N-Cheese, is not a bad way to eat lunch.

A Socialite, On Holiday

820 Park Avenue

Natalie dear,

Darling, just dropping a line to thank you profusely for having us over last week for Thanksgiving dinner. So sweet of you to invite us over, what with St. Moritz being cancelled and all. As always, you and William were splendid hosts!

We so enjoyed the delicious (and quite bountiful!) traditional Thanksgiving dinner ... the turkey was tasteful, the candied yams yummy, the mashed potatoes mouthwatering, the stuffed cabbage savory, the "canberry" comforting ... and the gravy (as the kids say!) groovy. The vast selection of desserts was delightful ... no, delectable. And of course, the constant flow of fine wine was quite sufficient to warm the very cockles of my bourgeois heart.

And to think you did all yourself! Quel Martha! How plucky of you to give the cook the night off. (But you must give me the name of your decorator, as the chateau was quite lovely.)

Of course, the best part of the evening was the wonderful company. Your friends & family are divine! Witty conversation is such a lost art, as Mumsy is so fond of lamenting. (With all that laughing I've had to move up my next appointment to be Botox'd.)

Well, dahling, must dash off. I do hope I see you before you winter in Europe? You're quite right to pass on Palm Beach this year: have you heard that (brace yourself) one of those dreadful rap artists have moved into the estate next to Muffy? The poor dear is positively stricken. Really, I don't know what the world is coming to.

Pretentiously yours,
(Miss) Ladygoat